Alhamdulillah

Hellooooo!!

I am currently in the IPB Library. I had to attend other students' results seminar as requirement to conduct my own results seminar. I've still got a few more seminars to attend before the quota is filled. Anyway, it's also time to do my dissertation. Which took quite a turn.

Maksudnya gini, jadi karena kesalahan teknis (baca: kedodolan diriku) ada beberapa pertanyaan yang harus diganti dan ditanyakan ulang juga ada yang kelupaan ditanyain (apa2an sih ini calon doktor kok kek begini hah?!). Yawdalahya mo namanya calon doktor tapi ini kan survei kuantitatif pertamaku, jadi wajar lah kalo ada beberapa yang skip.

Alhamdulillahnya lagi karena surveinya online gak terlalu ribet yah nyari responden. Jadi jam 12 tadi kan kukirim tuh survei lanjutannya via email, eh 20 menit kemudian dicek udah 32 orang yang selesai ngisi surveinya (total yg udah buka 38 tapi sisanya belum selesai mungkin sibuk). Hamdalah banget kan... Pas survei awal pun yang diumumkan via Facebook itu gak sampai 2 hari kuota udah memenuhi dengan bonus 176 responden. Huwow amazing....

Alhamdulillah banget neliti buibu yang emang nature-nya saling support yahh.. Inget waktu posting link survei itu banyak responden yg jadinya ikut doain semoga lancar studinya, semoga bermanfaat dll dll... ahh kuterharuuu... pengen nangis banget bacanya.

Mudah2an dalam beberapa hari ke depan target responden tercapai jadi bisa cepet2 ngasih janji hadiah buat ibu2 hebat dan cepet2 dianalisis datanya biar bisa cepet nulis draft disertasi dan melewati proses2 lainnya.

Suffice to say, currently my life is taking a turn to be good (enough). I think it's because I was finally able to set my priorities straight, take drastic measures such as being off social media, turn back to Allah and do more of what HE pleases. Semoga this good streak lasts ya. I wouldn't want to think to have to go to a psychiatrist to sort me out (yep, doctoral studies is THAT stressful... I do have a patient card at the nearest mental hospital >_<)

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1 week so-called social media detox

So as I said in the previous post, I uninstalled Instagram. IG is the only social media I was active at. I have Facebook and Twitter accounts, Path as well. But I don't have apps for them in my phones so I only access them in my browser if I just need some information. Like Twitter I use to see bout traffic jams or rail (KRL) info when there's delays. Facebook I need for my dissertation research. Path was abandoned cos no one is on them anymore.

So I had the IG app on my phone and tab. And I was very active at it. It consumes my phone memory and my precious time 😅 I did think I was oversharing sometimes, although when I post I take careful consideration of its implications so there are numerous times I erased whatever I was about to post. The really tiring part was trying to keep up, indulge my FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and trying to prove something. Lebay yak.. selebgram bukan tapi dibikin stres sendiri sama medsos haha.

Anyway the problem was I couldn't handle it. I took up precious time that i could spend writing, doing research, or engage with my family by being glued to my phone. Trus buat apa? It didn't really increase the quality of my life by playing every IG story or looking at every post.

Soo in the few days I went off social media turns out I can't totally stay away. Because apparently you can open IG on your browser. I opened my FB more often (tapi ga lama2 krn buka FB otomatis ngingetin disertasi). I can't see people's snapgrams but I watch their whatsapp statuses which is kinda the same. Ahahah.

Tapi gapapah... Small steps ya. Although I am still glued to my phone and tab, tapi bukanya ebook atau browsing news. Lebih bermutu ya seenggaknya. And it is relieving to not (have to) know and kepo on other people's lives. To not mentally thinking of instagrammable moments but just enjoynthem. Take photos because you want to cherish them for yourself and not the sake of content.

Wow I think I have found a new reseacrch topic: scale of depression and social media use. (This has been extensively researched I think but not in Indonesian context which is interesting krn socmed stars diIndonesia banyak bnget dan netyjennya luchu2 jd penisirin kek apa hasilnya)

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Gone there, back here

Sejak Path resmi mengumumkan tutup, baru kerasa ya sedihnya. Kenapa ninggalin Path ikut2an main IG. Padahal I got real connections and better experience in Path. Instagram felt too superficial and in the end became toxic for me. Too toxic that I decided to uninstall it for the time being last night.

Awalnya berani unfollow atau hide story. Lama2 muak ya uninstall sekalian. Belum berani tutup akun dulu karena rencananya untuk sementara aja. Karena lagi ikut kuliah online yg mana tugas2 dipost di IG. Dan gw blm bikin samsek dong padahal udah selesai kuliahnya 😌

Istilahnya social media detox kali ya. Walaupun jadinya lari ke blog (blogs are considered social media) tapi berhubung blog itu engagement nya tidak setinggi di platform seperti IG, jadi bebas aja mo cerita2 tanpa ngintipin siapa yg view/like/comment dll. Dan ga ada cerita spend time mindlessly going through stories or scrolling through feeds. I might get more things done if I stop reporting what I think on IG..right?

When I feel I get my life back on track I'll go back in IG territory. Sekarang mungkin nyampah di blog aja dulu ya.

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Kemana aja??

Halooo... blog ini dah lama banget yah gak diupdate. Yah gitu deh, sibuk kuliah, ngajar (akhirnya jadi dosen jugak hehe) sambil ngurus 2 anak lanang aktif nan cerdas...

Jadinya curhatnya pindah ke Path seringnya, dan pindah ke sini. Soalnya di Wordpress bisa nyambung sama Path hehe.

Belum memutuskan mau terus update disini apa pindah ke lapak sebelah sih.. Udah 10 tahunan di Blogger soalnya. Lebih user-friendly Blogger sih cuma ya itu, Wordpress lbh terintegrasi dengan medsos lain :D

So, kalo disini sepi mau tau updatean saya (ciehh ada gitu??) bisa mampir ke lapak satunya ;)

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First post in 2015

Hellooo... First post in 2015. Kemana ajaa??? Haha.

Sejak pindah Bogor emang hidup jd sulit. Hehe. Namapun merantau ya. Plus anak2 lg fase lumayan bikin repot, which is normal for them jadi ya dijalani saja lah. Saking susahnya, ini gw n si mbak langsung drastis jd tambah langsing ngurus rumah dan dua anak energik ini. Tp Alhamdulillah sih anak2 malah sehat dan montok :*

Um.. What's new? Raka udah sekolah, alhamdulillah doi betah, bapaknya senang krn bayarnya murah, emak jg senang krn kualitasnya cukup oke (TK percontohan d kota bogor gituuu) walopuuuunn terkuras energinya hrs nyiapin doi sekolah, antar jemput dll sambil bolakbalik kampus buat kuliah dsb nya. Sumpah deh akhir2 ini super capek ngerjain rutinitas itu. Soalnya ditambah Rayi ini lg rewel terus. Rata2 nyusu 10x sehari dan lbh banyak di malam hari. Gmn gak tambah kurus ya gw. Jd dr jam 6 mlm sampe jam 6 pagi ya bs 6-8x minta nyusu. Huhu. Mungkin lg tumbuh gigi jg sih krn pd bermunculan gigi2 baru. Plus separation anxiety. Duly Raka umur segitu juga lumayan challenging, gw inget mengalami nursing aversion dan berusaha nyapih dia. Tp skrg mo nyapih Rayi jg impossible. Anaknya ngamuknya ngeri klo ga dikasih nenen dan gw blm siap ngadepin drama itu. Separation anxiety nya juga parah. Gw gak bs mandi or di ruangan lain dimana dia gak bs liat gw (mis.  Gw tutup pintu) tanpa dia ngamuk.

Jadi ya begitulah. Agak jiper ngebayangin klo udh 2thn dan kakaknya 4thn. Secara blm bs akur ini. Gw butuh stok sabar yg banyaakkk kykny.

Nah kan skrg bayinya bangun nangis2 nyari mama :)

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